Women marked by men

During class discussion about Deborah' Tannen's piece, some people, particularly some of the boys, thought that the piece lacked a male perspective. If I remember correctly the thought seemed to be this: though women are always marked (and men are not) from the perspective of other women, this is not true from the perspective of men. I just wanted to contribute that as a boy, I feel that Tannen does accurately portray the way that I mark women and not necessarily men. It seems either I am more backwards and sexist than my male peers, or that I am more able to recognize when I mark women than they are. Putting it bluntly like that makes it seem like I think I am in the right, but I can't say with any confidence that I believe the latter more than the former. Boys have the option to wear unmarked hairstyles, which I never notice. If a girl always wears simple hairstyles however, that says something about her. It's a bit of a contradiction, how am I able to hold men and women to a double standard if I am able to recognize how unfair my actions are? I like to think that I don't judge women for their appearance any more than I would for a man, but I'm sure that's not always true. Regardless on whether they impact my overall opinions of a girl, the distinctions between different styles still exist in my head.  In the end, it seems to me that men judge women in the same way that women judge women, which is to say unfairly.


Allow me to play you out...